In September 2009,I was on a low protein diet,started exercising four times a week and was on Yasmin.
Barely a month later,I found out I was already 10 weeks pregnant with Keisya.
Overjoyed was not how I felt. And now I regret that. After having three kids,to have another one so soon really didn't leave me much to be excited and really happy. I have to admit,I was sad,stressed,disappointed and angry at myself,my body.
What could have gone wrong? I had taken all the necessary precautions for family planning. Why was I then,pregnant again,so soon?! I uttered Alhamdulillah so many times but I still couldn't understand. Why?
At that time,everything seemed to go wrong. The helper decided to quit and because of that I had to stop some tutoring jobs which resulted in less income for the family. It was hard. Add morning sickness,clingy Marsya and very active Ryan,it was really hard. We were without a helper for more than a mth and I had to handle all of that on my own while Bobo was at work. Thank goodness Elisya was a no fuss baby.
So again,I wondered,why? Why now,again???
Until Bobo,the man with very few words, spoke,one day.
It was right after Subuh prayers. He hugged me tight and he said he had made doas for baby and I. For himself too. He is prepared to take on the responsibility and challenges and he prayed that my heart would open for the baby,soon. "Sometimes,the reasons come later in life. Just think how much more laughter we'll get in the house. U'll love the baby like how u love Marsya,Ryan and Elisya."
I will?
Will I?
My heart sank la. :(
What Bobo had said only meant that I was not taking care of myself and the baby well. How could I be so selfish?! I had to remind myself constantly to enjoy the pregnancy. And truth be told,I only did when I felt the first kick.
Since then,I uttered Alhamdulillah with my whole heart. I truly thank Him. Truly grateful.
By December 2009,I was still pregnant with my fourth. Not ecstatic about it but I was humbled by the fact that He wanted to give me another chance to carry life.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
My kids are the best...
Messmakers!
That's what they are.
They know mummy allows mess (although I cringe at it all the time!) because that's how a child learns the most effectively.
Oh well,guess I have to suck it up. (Breathe in deeeeeeeeply)
Marsya and Ryan haven't been to school this week and what other way to keep their boredom (and kill my guilt :p) away!
As I'm typing this, Elisya has joined in the activity and Keisya is taking her nap, they're still painting. (Not the walls I hope!)
Marsya painted a big butterfly.
Elisya asked to draw a flower for her to paint and Ryan asked for an aeroplane and a flower. 0_o
He then asked for a BIG flower with a butterfly and a bee!
In case you didn't know,Ryan is our only boy. He is in K1 and he likes flowers and plays with balls,toy cars,figurines and errrrmmm...his sisters' dolls.
Should I be worried?
Anyway,please remind me to buy those poster colours in tubes.
Because...
Uhuh...the poster colours that we have been using will not be what they are anymore.
Oh well,before my maid faints and my dad starts screaming,I better stop more mess.
(Breathes in deeeeeply.)
*chants:patiencepatiencepatience....
That's what they are.
They know mummy allows mess (although I cringe at it all the time!) because that's how a child learns the most effectively.
Oh well,guess I have to suck it up. (Breathe in deeeeeeeeply)
Marsya and Ryan haven't been to school this week and what other way to keep their boredom (and kill my guilt :p) away!
As I'm typing this, Elisya has joined in the activity and Keisya is taking her nap, they're still painting. (Not the walls I hope!)
Marsya painted a big butterfly.
Elisya asked to draw a flower for her to paint and Ryan asked for an aeroplane and a flower. 0_o
He then asked for a BIG flower with a butterfly and a bee!
In case you didn't know,Ryan is our only boy. He is in K1 and he likes flowers and plays with balls,toy cars,figurines and errrrmmm...his sisters' dolls.
Should I be worried?
Anyway,please remind me to buy those poster colours in tubes.
Because...
Uhuh...the poster colours that we have been using will not be what they are anymore.
Oh well,before my maid faints and my dad starts screaming,I better stop more mess.
(Breathes in deeeeeply.)
*chants:patiencepatiencepatience....
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Goodbyes are never easy......
"Death may indeed be final but the love we share while living is eternal."~ Don Williams,Jr
It has been 12 days since he is gone.
My only paternal Uncle. A man of character, of an independence we ought to model and definitely the only man I know who can joke about losing his two legs.
Uncle Achet is Abah's only brother. Now, he has joined to be with the rest of his seven siblings who had died in either Nenek's womb or did not survive long after birth.
My family has a strong history of diabetes. Nenek has it. Abah has it. His two sisters have it and Arwah Uncle Achet had it. In fact, Uncle Achet had lost both of his legs due to diabetes, one in 2003 and the other in 2010.
But even with both legs amputated, Uncle still lived like normal. He would get on his own-made motochair (a wheelchair with motor! Equipped with radio and license plate!) and rode his way to 888, his favourite hangout. He would set up his own Karaoke and entertained himself. If it had not been for no lift landing to my place, I'm sure Uncle would have come over many, many times. :'(
His laughter was contagious and his jokes would make one fall off the chair easily. That's my Uncle. :) We love our family gatherings because Uncle would be the one to start sharing oh so many stories and 'action'-ed his way about with his motorchair and his daily 'walkabouts'. :)
When his own body finally succumbed to diabetes on 14 April 2011 and I was there to witness it, I couldn't help feeling regretful for not holding a family gathering earlier. But I was glad I was there. I saw his strong will to fight his own body. I saw the immense love he has towards Nenek, Aunty Habsah (his wife), his daughters Shida and Nora,his grandchildren and of course his siblings, Abah, Mama (my aunty) and Aunty Jas eventhough the only way he could respond to us was by holding our hands tight and patting us with his left hand.
It was my first time witnessing death.
And it was the death of a loved one.
We love you Uncle. We miss you Uncle. Our family gatherings will never be the same again. There will be tears but we will keep smiling, keep laughing and keep living. Exactly the way you taught us to. The way you showed us to.
Al-Fateha to Haji Abdul Rashid Bin Haji Mohamed Isa.
It has been 12 days since he is gone.
My only paternal Uncle. A man of character, of an independence we ought to model and definitely the only man I know who can joke about losing his two legs.
Uncle Achet is Abah's only brother. Now, he has joined to be with the rest of his seven siblings who had died in either Nenek's womb or did not survive long after birth.
My family has a strong history of diabetes. Nenek has it. Abah has it. His two sisters have it and Arwah Uncle Achet had it. In fact, Uncle Achet had lost both of his legs due to diabetes, one in 2003 and the other in 2010.
But even with both legs amputated, Uncle still lived like normal. He would get on his own-made motochair (a wheelchair with motor! Equipped with radio and license plate!) and rode his way to 888, his favourite hangout. He would set up his own Karaoke and entertained himself. If it had not been for no lift landing to my place, I'm sure Uncle would have come over many, many times. :'(
His laughter was contagious and his jokes would make one fall off the chair easily. That's my Uncle. :) We love our family gatherings because Uncle would be the one to start sharing oh so many stories and 'action'-ed his way about with his motorchair and his daily 'walkabouts'. :)
 |
| Nenek's 77th birthday last year. Arwah Uncle with the rest of his siblings and in-laws. |
When his own body finally succumbed to diabetes on 14 April 2011 and I was there to witness it, I couldn't help feeling regretful for not holding a family gathering earlier. But I was glad I was there. I saw his strong will to fight his own body. I saw the immense love he has towards Nenek, Aunty Habsah (his wife), his daughters Shida and Nora,his grandchildren and of course his siblings, Abah, Mama (my aunty) and Aunty Jas eventhough the only way he could respond to us was by holding our hands tight and patting us with his left hand.
It was my first time witnessing death.
And it was the death of a loved one.
We love you Uncle. We miss you Uncle. Our family gatherings will never be the same again. There will be tears but we will keep smiling, keep laughing and keep living. Exactly the way you taught us to. The way you showed us to.
Al-Fateha to Haji Abdul Rashid Bin Haji Mohamed Isa.
May Allah love his soul than all of our love for him combined. Amin.
Elisya's 2nd
It was a last minute decision and something simple with the family.
The angel who was born 4.09kg on 30 March 2009 has turned two. Smarter, prettier and chubbier ;p,now at two years old, Elisya has always been the one everyone loves.
I pray she will be in the prayers of many to continue being a fuss-free child, independent and everyone's pride of joy, especially to Bobo and I. :) Insyaallah,Amin.
The angel who was born 4.09kg on 30 March 2009 has turned two. Smarter, prettier and chubbier ;p,now at two years old, Elisya has always been the one everyone loves.
I pray she will be in the prayers of many to continue being a fuss-free child, independent and everyone's pride of joy, especially to Bobo and I. :) Insyaallah,Amin.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Marsya....Marsya...
I shook my head so many times,not knowing what to say or how else to react.
Marsya,my 5 year old, who will be in P1 next year,has just started reaading on her own. Her deep interest in writing and drawing has been the greatest push for her to learn how to read. (Apart from the drilling,threats,nags and Tarzan screams from you know who la ah....)
Bobo and I are very proud of our firstborn. A very determined girl who will only accept something that is logical (to her!)
Anyway,this morning,Bobo and I were dumbfounded. I quickly snapped a pic of it and when Marsya found out she blushed and made me promise not to tweet or put it on Facebook for others to see.
Well baby,you forgot mummy blogs about you and your siblings is it? Nyehehehehe.... :p
Tell me,how should I react? Let me repeat again that she is ONLY 5 years 3 mths old. Not even 6. Not even halfway to 6.
*shakes my head* ( Eh,suddenly thought of WasNotWas Shake Your Head. Hee!)
Ok peeps,get ready to shake your head and together say....
Marsya....Marsya......
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Marsya,my 5 year old, who will be in P1 next year,has just started reaading on her own. Her deep interest in writing and drawing has been the greatest push for her to learn how to read. (Apart from the drilling,threats,nags and Tarzan screams from you know who la ah....)
Bobo and I are very proud of our firstborn. A very determined girl who will only accept something that is logical (to her!)
Anyway,this morning,Bobo and I were dumbfounded. I quickly snapped a pic of it and when Marsya found out she blushed and made me promise not to tweet or put it on Facebook for others to see.
Well baby,you forgot mummy blogs about you and your siblings is it? Nyehehehehe.... :p
Tell me,how should I react? Let me repeat again that she is ONLY 5 years 3 mths old. Not even 6. Not even halfway to 6.
*shakes my head* ( Eh,suddenly thought of WasNotWas Shake Your Head. Hee!)
Ok peeps,get ready to shake your head and together say....
Marsya....Marsya......
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Why I often smile to myself #1
Yesterday, while driving to the hospital to visit nenek. Marsya sat in the front passenger seat.
Marsya: Mummy, my friend, she wears PE attire with tudung. (Rolling her eyes) Obit kan?!
Mummy: (Shocked to hear it but not surprised that Marsya said it.) And you called her obit for?!
Marsya: Ya lah, PE attire kan t-shirt je. Short sleeved. Then she wear tudung. So Kakak said "Awak obit lah."
Mummy: NO! You cannot be too honest like that! What if she feels hurt?
Marsya: No lah. Dia yang hurt kakak. She beat me after that.
Mummy: Did you cry?
Marsya: No. I laughed.
Mummy: Please do not call others obit anymore ok?
Marsya: Then you call me obit, can?
Mummy: (Pretended not to hear because really, my dear daughter can be real obit at times. Sigh...)
Marsya: And then right. (OMG my daughter is only 5 leh. NOT 15!!)
Mummy: Ahuh. (Step interested)
Marsya: She wear her tudung then the tali is here (pointing to the top of her head). So painful what!
Mummy: Maybe it's not painful to her?
Marsya: Oh. But so obit.
Mummy: (Oh God. Please keep me sane. This is ONLY the beginning.)
0_____o
Marsya: Mummy, my friend, she wears PE attire with tudung. (Rolling her eyes) Obit kan?!
Mummy: (Shocked to hear it but not surprised that Marsya said it.) And you called her obit for?!
Marsya: Ya lah, PE attire kan t-shirt je. Short sleeved. Then she wear tudung. So Kakak said "Awak obit lah."
Mummy: NO! You cannot be too honest like that! What if she feels hurt?
Marsya: No lah. Dia yang hurt kakak. She beat me after that.
Mummy: Did you cry?
Marsya: No. I laughed.
Mummy: Please do not call others obit anymore ok?
Marsya: Then you call me obit, can?
Mummy: (Pretended not to hear because really, my dear daughter can be real obit at times. Sigh...)
Marsya: And then right. (OMG my daughter is only 5 leh. NOT 15!!)
Mummy: Ahuh. (Step interested)
Marsya: She wear her tudung then the tali is here (pointing to the top of her head). So painful what!
Mummy: Maybe it's not painful to her?
Marsya: Oh. But so obit.
Mummy: (Oh God. Please keep me sane. This is ONLY the beginning.)
0_____o
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Before there were four Part 1
When it was just me, Marsya and Ryan, we would have our morning shower together.
While I make my Milo and breakfast, they woud have their milk and biscuits.
We would then cuddle up on the cosy sofa, turn on Playhouse Disney and sing to our favourite tunes.
Life after I resigned and cared for the two kids on my own was more than I could ever ask for. I love every minute spent with them.
Going to Toa Payoh central with them was a breeze. I could even travel on the MRT from Toa Payoh to Tampines (where mom and dad used to stay) with them alone. There were many times I would drive to the other end of the island with them too. I was NEVER scared or apprehensive about going out with my 3 and 2 year olds alone.
Then we had a helper. I had a tough time adjusting. Being pregnant with Elisya, my hormones did their part in giving me sick notions. I had no choice but to allow the helper to take over some of my duties including showering the kids. Initially I cried. I know that physical touch is important and it enhances the bond you have with your children. But after a few incidents of falling in the toilet, Bobo told me to stop showering them. Big belly and clumsy me do not make a good pair.
With a helper around, I focused whatever energy I had on Marsya and Ryan. I felt relieved because in fact, I had more time with them. Snuggling before naps, lunch together without having to care about the dirty dishes, played Play-Doh with them and not worry about the mess too, baked cupcakes with them and even brought them to the playground while the helper cleans up the mess in the house and the list goes on.
I miss Marsya and Ryan as babies and tots.
They are more independent now that they are in K1 and K2 respectively. They have their own perspectives and are never afraid of saying how they feel. I should be thankful.
Enjoy these pics while I go cry my eyes out...
To be continued.....
While I make my Milo and breakfast, they woud have their milk and biscuits.
We would then cuddle up on the cosy sofa, turn on Playhouse Disney and sing to our favourite tunes.
Life after I resigned and cared for the two kids on my own was more than I could ever ask for. I love every minute spent with them.
Going to Toa Payoh central with them was a breeze. I could even travel on the MRT from Toa Payoh to Tampines (where mom and dad used to stay) with them alone. There were many times I would drive to the other end of the island with them too. I was NEVER scared or apprehensive about going out with my 3 and 2 year olds alone.
Then we had a helper. I had a tough time adjusting. Being pregnant with Elisya, my hormones did their part in giving me sick notions. I had no choice but to allow the helper to take over some of my duties including showering the kids. Initially I cried. I know that physical touch is important and it enhances the bond you have with your children. But after a few incidents of falling in the toilet, Bobo told me to stop showering them. Big belly and clumsy me do not make a good pair.
With a helper around, I focused whatever energy I had on Marsya and Ryan. I felt relieved because in fact, I had more time with them. Snuggling before naps, lunch together without having to care about the dirty dishes, played Play-Doh with them and not worry about the mess too, baked cupcakes with them and even brought them to the playground while the helper cleans up the mess in the house and the list goes on.
I miss Marsya and Ryan as babies and tots.
They are more independent now that they are in K1 and K2 respectively. They have their own perspectives and are never afraid of saying how they feel. I should be thankful.
Enjoy these pics while I go cry my eyes out...
To be continued.....
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