1. i have SERIOUSLY made up my mind.
2. i have started typing out the letter.
3. i have filled in the notice.
4. i have informed many of my intention.
5. i have informed 2 HODs and that's a very good step to not look back. :)
6. i have BIG plans with Bobo. :) (no, no, no more babies till DEGREE is in my hand )
7. i have no worries for my class as they have improved tremendously in Math, especially. :)
8 i have a worry though, that they might miss me. :(
9. i have seriously no idea what i can do besides teaching!
10. but...i SERIOUSLY don't care!! heee....
A-Min darling!!!!!! i'm now thinking of my next hair colour...
;p
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
~a very special day~
thanks to all of your prayers, Ryan has returned to his normal self.the last time he had fever was on friday night. a peculiar fever that started only when he was asleep. prior to that, he was running around, playing with the guests we had that night. it was a shock and a scare when i read 41.5 degrees. thinking that the device was faulty, my dear colleagues advised me to take my temp. i ended up taking everyone else's temp and ryan's again. only ryan's was exceptionally high.
bobo said to sponge him down and so i did. checked another hour later, thank god it reduced to 38 degrees.
on saturday morning there was no more fever. :)
until today.
it's really worrying you know. anyway, bobo and i thought ryan must be bored for he had not been out in 'fresh' air since he was hospitalised. and that was 2 weeks ago.
so, in the end, we did not waste the tickets to the S'pore Flyer. oh no, we didn't get it for free. we're not VIPs mah...we only got it at half the price. :)
thanks to PUB, we managed to experience the 'flight'. and that would be the first and the last time we'd pay for it. :p
honestly, the capsule is big and it could accomodate more than i had expected. otherwise, i have no further comments.
a trip down to Tong Seng for a very family birthday dinner. : D
and another bonding session at the comfort of my own home, for cake-cutting.
bobo said to sponge him down and so i did. checked another hour later, thank god it reduced to 38 degrees.
on saturday morning there was no more fever. :)
until today.
it's really worrying you know. anyway, bobo and i thought ryan must be bored for he had not been out in 'fresh' air since he was hospitalised. and that was 2 weeks ago.
so, in the end, we did not waste the tickets to the S'pore Flyer. oh no, we didn't get it for free. we're not VIPs mah...we only got it at half the price. :)
thanks to PUB, we managed to experience the 'flight'. and that would be the first and the last time we'd pay for it. :p
honestly, the capsule is big and it could accomodate more than i had expected. otherwise, i have no further comments.
a trip down to Tong Seng for a very family birthday dinner. : D
and another bonding session at the comfort of my own home, for cake-cutting.
i thank God for the existence of these special people in my life.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
~s~
i'd been trying to figure out if i deserve love, until bobo proposed.
i'd been trying to figure out if my life had been a joke, until i got pregnant with marsya.
i'd been trying to come to terms with resentment and depression, until ryan came into our lives.
i'd been asking myself why?
until God proved to me.
it's been more than 2 weeks since ryan last ran about at home, screamed at his sister and jumped on my bed.
'something' has been clinging onto him and thus, the refusal to walk and be himself. ironically, before we found that out, we watched ''Congkak". right after that movie, bobo and i held each other tightly. we stayed up for our subuh prayers and kept on praying, chanting whatever verses that we know.
my body gets weaker and weaker from watching my chubby, happy baby turning to a scrawny and cranky baby.
my heart breaks each time he wails.
my eyes has learnt to stop tears from welling in fornt of him, simply because i cannot show 'it' i'm weak.
God must love me so much, for the great tests He has been giving me.
it's time i realise that only Him can help me.
meanwhile, if you have read this entry, please, please pray for my son, Ryan Ilhan Bin Mohammad Harisman.
i'd been trying to figure out if my life had been a joke, until i got pregnant with marsya.
i'd been trying to come to terms with resentment and depression, until ryan came into our lives.
i'd been asking myself why?
until God proved to me.
it's been more than 2 weeks since ryan last ran about at home, screamed at his sister and jumped on my bed.
'something' has been clinging onto him and thus, the refusal to walk and be himself. ironically, before we found that out, we watched ''Congkak". right after that movie, bobo and i held each other tightly. we stayed up for our subuh prayers and kept on praying, chanting whatever verses that we know.
my body gets weaker and weaker from watching my chubby, happy baby turning to a scrawny and cranky baby.
my heart breaks each time he wails.
my eyes has learnt to stop tears from welling in fornt of him, simply because i cannot show 'it' i'm weak.
God must love me so much, for the great tests He has been giving me.
it's time i realise that only Him can help me.
meanwhile, if you have read this entry, please, please pray for my son, Ryan Ilhan Bin Mohammad Harisman.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
~i spoke too soon~
ryan started vomiting again last night. his highest temperature checked five minutes ago was 39.7.
:(
Ya Allah, please take away his pain and let me suffer instead...
:(
:(
Ya Allah, please take away his pain and let me suffer instead...
:(
Thursday, May 15, 2008
~6 days 5 nights~
it was a 6 days and 5 nights stay for me and ryan in KKH.
thank goodness it wasn't rotavirus, HFMD or the likes. dr confirmed it as bacterial infection. no, not viral infection. it's bacterial infection. difference?
bacteria are single celled organisms that are 'living' and reproduce by dividing. bacteria is EVERYWHERE. even on this keyboard that i'm typing out now. or in this air that i'm breathing in now. or on the chicken that i had eaten at Swensen's just now. or in our favourite Yakult..or... ok, you get it.
virus are well, hmm...the debate is still whether they're living organisms. whatever it is, i've googled and here goes...
From WIKIPEDIA http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virus
virus is not an independent survivor, unlike bacteria. they require living hosts eg, us, humans, plants or animals in order to multiply. when the virus get in our body systems, some of our cells are invaded thus producing more of such virus.
source : http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/infectious-disease/AN00652
so, it was a Tuesday to Sunday camp KK for me and Ryan. on that tuesday morning, i still went on to school, knowing that his temp was a 38 degrees. it was examination period for the kids in school and i figured after medication, ryan would get well within hours, just like he usually would. at almost 8.30am, MIL called to say that his fever went up to 39.5 degrees. and it was only an hour when i last checked his temp.
i didn't even ask for permission to leave sch immediately.. i only informed the 2 heads and proceeded back home to bring ryan to KK's CE(Children's Emergency). thank goodness it was not a long wait at the hospital despite the long queue cos Ryan's condition was given priority. after taking his blood for test and checking his stools, the MO at the CE diagnosed it as viral infection and gave ibuprofen for his fever.
went on home, lil prince took his nap, his sister joined him. while his mother marked like crazy. 2 hours later, ryan woke up with a very pale face and started throwing up. i tried feeding him with porridge which he also threw up. let's not talk about his milk and plain water, he looked like a mini merlion. checked his temp again, it was 41 degrees and it had been 3 hours since i had given him ibuprofen. decided to sponge him and wait for 2 more hours for the medication to take effect.
only God knows what went on my mind within that 2 hours. ryan was like a sick cat. he couldn't sit, let alone stand. he looked so frail, i cried while holding him. that was it. i had to bring him back to the hospital.
again, given priority. ryan was given the suppository and was admitted. and the journey of the fluctuating fever began. blood in his stools, frequent moving of bowels which dr first thought was diarrhoea but confirmed it as stomach infection later. then, bacterial infection.
seriously, i wouldn't wanna have anymore of such memories takin place in any of my children's lives. it is emotionally and physically draining..really.
however, i was glad i 'camped' 5 nights there cos for the first 4 nights, i had a great 'kaki'. (wink at crab) heee.....and her sister, magg. haha! hilarious pair lah you two!
and of course, not forgetting all who visited ryan at the hospital,harlina, kak G, kak em, dora, kak mel, sri and rid, mak long pak long, nyayi, cik dah, abg noi, adik, cuz aida, jehan and ahmad, awin, cik nong and family, lenny and family, nyaina and yayi and cik uci and cik ana. thank you for ur prayers and keeping ryan and i company even if it's for a little while. :) mak and abah and mommy and daddy, how can i ever thank u enough?
oh kak lyn, u think i have forgotten you issit?
N E V E R hokay!!!! thank u kakak sayang for ur company on the 3rd night and staying on till very late the next day and....returned with kak mel (and my cravings for cheezels-thks to crab :p)again the following day! u ahh...really...how can i not love u so??? i remember magg's promise to you...."baju butterfly dari tekka" heee
oh, just as i was about to rejoice in happiness, marsya also got ill on ryan's last night at the hospital. i cried that night, in the cot, praying for my children's health. marsya vomited and could not retain any fluid. bobo took her to the CE and luckily she's not admitted.
Alhamdulillah, both children are recovering well now. but their parents are down. dun make me talk cos my throat fucking hurts and this migraine almost killed me while i was in class just now. i am holding up for one more day before another long weekend and it's time bobo and i spend a little time together.
oh tomorrow, please come and go quickly....
thank goodness it wasn't rotavirus, HFMD or the likes. dr confirmed it as bacterial infection. no, not viral infection. it's bacterial infection. difference?
bacteria are single celled organisms that are 'living' and reproduce by dividing. bacteria is EVERYWHERE. even on this keyboard that i'm typing out now. or in this air that i'm breathing in now. or on the chicken that i had eaten at Swensen's just now. or in our favourite Yakult..or... ok, you get it.
virus are well, hmm...the debate is still whether they're living organisms. whatever it is, i've googled and here goes...
From WIKIPEDIA http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virus
A virus (from the Latin virus meaning "toxin" or "poison"), is a sub-microscopic infectious agent that is unable to grow or reproduce outside a host cell. Each viral particle, or virion, consists of genetic material, DNA or RNA, within a protective protein coat called a capsid. The capsid shape varies from simple helical and icosahedral (polyhedral or near-spherical) forms, to more complex structures with tails or an envelope. Viruses infect cellular life forms and are grouped into animal, plant and bacterial types, according to the type of host infected.
Biologists debate whether or not viruses are living organisms. Some consider them non-living as they do not meet the criteria of the definition of life. For example, unlike most organisms, viruses do not have cells. However, viruses have genes and evolve by natural selection. Others have described them as organisms at the edge of life. Viral infections in human and animal hosts usually result in an immune response and disease. Often, a virus is completely eliminated by the immune system. Antibiotics have no effect on viruses, but antiviral drugs have been developed to treat life-threatening infections. Vaccines that produce lifelong immunity can prevent viral infections.]
virus is not an independent survivor, unlike bacteria. they require living hosts eg, us, humans, plants or animals in order to multiply. when the virus get in our body systems, some of our cells are invaded thus producing more of such virus.
Bacterial infection vs. viral infection: What's the difference?
bacterial infections are caused by bacteria and viral infections are caused by viruses. But they're also different in other ways.
Bacteria are single-celled "living" microorganisms that reproduce by dividing. Most bacteria can grow on nonliving surfaces, such as countertops and doorknobs. Not all bacteria are harmful. Some bacteria are even beneficial to your health. But when infectious bacteria enter your body, they can make you sick. Bacteria make toxins that can damage the cells they've invaded. Some bacterial infections, such as strep throat and tuberculosis, are contagious. Others are not.
Unlike bacteria, viruses are not "living" organisms but capsules of genetic material. They require living hosts — such as people, plants or animals — to multiply. Otherwise, they can't survive. When a virus enters your body, it invades some of your cells and takes over the cell machinery, redirecting it to produce the virus. The virus may eventually kill the host cells. Some viral infections, such as influenza and HIV, are contagious. Others are not.
The distinction between bacterial and viral infections is important. Why? Because medications that are effective against one aren't effective against the other.
Bacterial infections are treated with antibacterial antibiotics. Antiviral antibiotics are available for some types of viral infections — but not all. Taking antibacterial antibiotics when you have a viral infection won't treat the viral infection and may even be harmful. Consult your doctor for advice on a specific condition.
source : http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/infectious-disease/AN00652
so, it was a Tuesday to Sunday camp KK for me and Ryan. on that tuesday morning, i still went on to school, knowing that his temp was a 38 degrees. it was examination period for the kids in school and i figured after medication, ryan would get well within hours, just like he usually would. at almost 8.30am, MIL called to say that his fever went up to 39.5 degrees. and it was only an hour when i last checked his temp.
i didn't even ask for permission to leave sch immediately.. i only informed the 2 heads and proceeded back home to bring ryan to KK's CE(Children's Emergency). thank goodness it was not a long wait at the hospital despite the long queue cos Ryan's condition was given priority. after taking his blood for test and checking his stools, the MO at the CE diagnosed it as viral infection and gave ibuprofen for his fever.
went on home, lil prince took his nap, his sister joined him. while his mother marked like crazy. 2 hours later, ryan woke up with a very pale face and started throwing up. i tried feeding him with porridge which he also threw up. let's not talk about his milk and plain water, he looked like a mini merlion. checked his temp again, it was 41 degrees and it had been 3 hours since i had given him ibuprofen. decided to sponge him and wait for 2 more hours for the medication to take effect.
only God knows what went on my mind within that 2 hours. ryan was like a sick cat. he couldn't sit, let alone stand. he looked so frail, i cried while holding him. that was it. i had to bring him back to the hospital.
again, given priority. ryan was given the suppository and was admitted. and the journey of the fluctuating fever began. blood in his stools, frequent moving of bowels which dr first thought was diarrhoea but confirmed it as stomach infection later. then, bacterial infection.
seriously, i wouldn't wanna have anymore of such memories takin place in any of my children's lives. it is emotionally and physically draining..really.
however, i was glad i 'camped' 5 nights there cos for the first 4 nights, i had a great 'kaki'. (wink at crab) heee.....and her sister, magg. haha! hilarious pair lah you two!
and of course, not forgetting all who visited ryan at the hospital,harlina, kak G, kak em, dora, kak mel, sri and rid, mak long pak long, nyayi, cik dah, abg noi, adik, cuz aida, jehan and ahmad, awin, cik nong and family, lenny and family, nyaina and yayi and cik uci and cik ana. thank you for ur prayers and keeping ryan and i company even if it's for a little while. :) mak and abah and mommy and daddy, how can i ever thank u enough?
oh kak lyn, u think i have forgotten you issit?
N E V E R hokay!!!! thank u kakak sayang for ur company on the 3rd night and staying on till very late the next day and....returned with kak mel (and my cravings for cheezels-thks to crab :p)again the following day! u ahh...really...how can i not love u so??? i remember magg's promise to you...."baju butterfly dari tekka" heee
oh, just as i was about to rejoice in happiness, marsya also got ill on ryan's last night at the hospital. i cried that night, in the cot, praying for my children's health. marsya vomited and could not retain any fluid. bobo took her to the CE and luckily she's not admitted.
Alhamdulillah, both children are recovering well now. but their parents are down. dun make me talk cos my throat fucking hurts and this migraine almost killed me while i was in class just now. i am holding up for one more day before another long weekend and it's time bobo and i spend a little time together.
oh tomorrow, please come and go quickly....
Monday, May 5, 2008
~happiness, within me, around me~
mom and abah, 33 years together and still counting :D
nasyirah and marsya
(lilo and marshmello)
anoi and ryan
sisters in love
mummy's all time love
cheeky monkeys
we love mom
anoi and family
us
tembams
mentels
overworked
time of his life
they were having fun, so did i :)
cuteness
saaaayang adik
1st shot with 3 month old car
i love my family.
i can't wait to celebrate mothers' day with mom and mak.
and nenek, of course.
:D
i wish for this happiness to never fade away.
i wish to sustain such divine pleasures i get when i'm around you.
i just wish....
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