Perfect Plan

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Updated (25 May 2012)

Nenek is critical in CCU in TTSH. She was supposed to be discharged today,was even talking to the nurses about how happy she was. But,in a split second,as witnessed by a nurse,she fell back on the hospital bed and is having stroke ever since.

It's not a minor stroke. :'(

Her organs are failing and she cannot talk and smile anymore. :'((

Even if her condition doesn't worsen,it's very unlikely that she'll recover fully and be like normal. She'll either be wheelchair bound or bed ridden. :'((

Prayers for you,my darling Nenek, Rahmah Bte Anwar. We want to see you well again,nenek.

And,thank you for believing in me. Thank you Allah,for giving nenek and I the opportunity,to tell how much love we have for each other,for allowing nenek to tell me that she believes I was not in the wrong,for telling me to keep ducking the rotten lemons because one day,they'll be too rotten,no one would even pick them,let alone throw them at me.

May Allah open the hearts of those who have failed to see the Perfect Plan He has executed for all of us.

Now, let me go cry my heart out. I can't handle this sudden news at all. I can't. :'((
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As cliché as it may sound.......my kids are my greatest strength. The considerable factors of having a good husband,strong family support,understanding in-laws, wonderful friends and undoubtedly,the blessing of my Creator, also built the dynamics and quantums of my being here today, standing tall (short) despite all odds.

There's a reason why God blessed Bobo and I with 4 kids. And I do not need to know what the reason may be. But I do need to know and realise what and who I was before I had 4 kids.

What went on in my life when I was young, let it remain as memories but the impact of what had happened,who made certain things happened,are the basic moulds of how I became me. (Size and shape included)

Was never anyone's favourite. Not one now too and might never be at all. But this is what keep me going. A blast from the past,reminded me of how I was deprived of being defended,deprived of seeking the right channel to prove myself right,to show that I'm a normal person. Time and again,I was misunderstood. Time and again,I'm labelled rude.

What's happening to me right now is the perfect plan.
God is indeed the best planner. He knows what I can handle. He knows I can be patient. More patient than how I ever was.

If I ever succeed in not succumbing to my broken state now,it's thanks to the 4muskynteers who never endingly call for 'mummy'. Thanks to the husband who buys my chocolate treats without me asking (and entertaining my emo whatsapps). Thanks to the brother,sister and cousins who send random 'I love u,I'm here for you' text messages. Thanks to the parents for teaching me to fight my own war,on my own. Thanks to the friends,whom I now prefer to call my sisters and their families,who always wipe my tears without even probing 'why'.
And of course,thanks to my Nenek,who showed me first hand,before I even reached puberty,that the most rotten lemons could be thrown at you are the lemons 'from the same plantation'.

Nenek,you and I had a bad start as soon as I was a tween. But you have been the greatest teacher for my patience and resilience and no wonder now, you keep telling my kids to 'be like mummy'.

Thank you Allah for executing this perfect plan. Had it not been,I wouldn't know which lemons to duck from.

I love you so much nenek,nothing can ever change that. Not even those rotten lemons.

Nenek is now in the hospital,in stable condition. Hoping to have her back at home soon so I can then execute my plan for this school holidays. It's 4muskynteers and Nenek time. ;)

Real kids

Real kids whine,cry,scream,mess up the playroom,mess up the living room,mess up the kitchen and wet the dry area of the bathroom. Until you intervene as a supernanny or hulk.

Real kids don't give a damn when you say 'no' nicely with a logical reason to that 'no'. Because minutes later, (if u're unlucky,seconds later) they'll ask the same question again and again until you scream 'NO!'. By then,your neck looks like hulk's and your eyes are in comparison to superman's when he wants to use his laser powers.

Real kids have no doubts about having fun. Why bother creating fun for them when all they need is space. Just space. Be sure you have your ear plugs on once you have given them THE space and you've gotta be near to 'supervise'. (Don't do injustice to yourself-pls read,call a friend,or better still,play your iPhone/iPad/Tab games. After all,when there's no space,real kids will conquer your gadgets.)

Real kids don't say I love you without much needed practice or much needed reminders. I am guilty of doing so. I remind my kids to say I love you every night before bed. Still,they forget sometimes. They say that to their favourite toys/books/cartoons/friends though. So,kudos to me in the success of connecting that feeling of affirmation to something they like,though it may not be me,for now I hope.

Real kids don't care about healthy living let alone healthy foods. Don't tell them to eat the veges so they'll be healthy. Why not tell them "Mummy didn't eat veges when I was your age too. But I made sure I ate them or else I won't get to play 'rounders' using badminton racquets at the void deck." or "It's ok. When you're older and you know you need greens to look and feel beautiful, you'll eat a whole tree if you can." Guess the kids will get the drift and start eating those greens? Thank God if they don't. Otherwise, please don't think that your kids are normal.
Real kids don't look forward to school for school. They only look forward to being with friends in school. So,life IS fair afterall.....kids wanna be away from their parents for a while in the day too!

Real kids don't care when the other sibling is ill. "Kakak can stay home and rest. We can go Explorer Kids!" But a real mom would feel,"Damn,not another round of the dreadful virus! And yeah,guilty for making 3 kids stay home on a school holiday while 1 is ill. But,what the heck!! All will stay home!"

Real kids,real mom.

Who needs cable?

I get REAL DRAMA. EVERYDAY.

Enjoy this one day school holiday,kids!

Sharing is caring- Death

Came across this article in FB from Kak Sri. Thk u sis.

Loss of a loved one is not something all of us would love to think of,let alone having to lose our children.

The article is about a mom who lost her two sons. Be warned though,you'll be teary-eyed but at the same time,you'll be brought to a whole new level about Islam and death.

From Him we come, to Him we return.

http://mentalhealth4muslims.com/2011/03/12/a-mothers-reflection-of-grief-and-loss-in-islam/

Of conversations- May 3 2012

While driving her to school this morning,

M: Mummy, can we please go to Ayuni's house today? I ask only ah. Ask only.

Me: Why do you have to say that? The 'ask only' part?

M: Because you will always make so much noise wat.

-_____-

Not even seven and she has defined my very frequent, detailed explanation as 'noise'.

Untitled

Yup,I titled this entry Untitled cos that's what it is. I'm just being a typical
Mom who keeps too many of her kids' photos and the iPhone has reached its storage limit. Only after saving the pics in the notebook and posting them here and fb (and some in Istagram and Twitter ;p ) I'll place them in the 'bin'.

What can I say? Enjoy the unprofessional and unedited pics! ;)

Mambo No 5

It's baby boom this year! So many people I know have just given birth and getting pregnant. Therefore I will go straight to the point because yes,this is affecting my much needed rest.

Bobo (the husband,just in case you don't know) wants a number five.

Yeap. He does. The reversible ligation I went through almost two years ago right after I had Keisya has proved to be the best birth control for me.

The Pill didn't work,that's why I conceived Keisya when Eli was only 7 mths old. The rubber,oh well....Bobo's not too keen (read: lazy to use) about it. That's why Ryan came right after Marsya turned 1.

Almost 2 years of not conceiving is something I'm proud of actually,considering the fact that my 4 kids were really born close to one another. Plus the fact that I've finally started pursuing my studies,I am so thankful for such a birth control. (Oh have I mentioned I got a certificate for it? Lol)

But..darn..I'm really astounded by my own thoughts. Furthermore, where am I gonna get the energy from?!

And for the record,I'm NOT pregnant ahhhh. But I'm happy for many of my friends and tweet pals who are!!! ;)

So will it remain as the 4muskynteers or will there be a hi-5?

Only God knows.

March Holiday Workshops for K1-P2. :)

What I Wanna Be........

Monday,12 March 2012

11am-12.30pm or 1.30pm-3pm

$18 per child (materials included)

Don't all kids love role playing? And what better way than to have them acting out their ambitions and discussing what they love (or hate :p) after that?
Kids will use props or create their own props with materials given. Once role-playing is over, kids will be encouraged to write a short poem on their ambition. :)

'Project Kitchen!'

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

11am-1pm

$25 per child

In this workshop, kids will not only bake their own decorated cookies, concoct their own drinks and even make pizza/pasta. They will write down their own recipes and design their own menu! :D

Progressive Story Telling!

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

11am-12.30pm, 1.30pm- 3pm

$18 per child (materials included)

With the props available, kids are to use them to create one story together,orally, making sure the story is progressive. This trains their listening and oral skills which is essential in school and increases their focus on any tasks. The emphasis on teamwork and adapting to others will also be two important lifeskills for them to take home. :)
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Venue for all classes will be at a residential address at Serangoon North. (Address will only be given upon confirmation of registration. If there is a change of venue, you will be informed 3 days prior to the class.)

All classes have limited slots to maintain safety and well-being.
Do call 96711836 from 2pm-5pm from Tuesday, 6 March 2012 to Sunday, 11 March 2012 to register your child.
Alternatively, you can email nurashikinrahmat@gmail.com. :)

Registration wil only be confirmed after securing the payment transfer to POSB Savings 045-12889-0.


Kids having fun as they learn, WIN-WIN.

:)

 Hope to see you soon!!

Love me or Hate me

Last night was one of the best nights. I searched deep within. I tracked back from 20 years ago.... I was not a good girl to begin with. I've done many things I am ashamed of to even mention them. But I know I was a nice girl. I was too outspoken for my own good, too honest for some people, too blinded by others' good to see how much I had been taken advantaged of, all because I didn't wanna hurt anyone's feelings.

Then, came the workforce. Teaching taught me to be more resilient. I adapted to a culture I hated but still emerged strength from it because of the people who surrounded me at that time. I was not so blind anymore. My eyes were opened, mind jolted but heart......scarred. (teaching is even worse now...my fellow teachers mates...SALUTE!!!!)

Marriage and having my firstborn brought new perspectives to my life. I realised whom I had hurt, whom had hurt me. Because I was emotional and wanted to prevent repercussions, I started to oblige to almost everything. And it went on and on until...I have four kids.

After four kids, I didn't like the way I was. Til today, I am trying to be a better Muslimah. I put on the hijab after I gave birth to my fourth, 20 mths ago. I found a different yet meaningful life. I understood life's purpose and I am still on that road to being calm and peace all the time.

While on this road, hubby and I had received many compliments and criticism.

And on this road too, I saw true friends. Those who are wiling to stick all the way and those who dumped me cos I can't club with them anymore. Some also stopped asking me to shop with them cos now I have a different style. Little do they know, I still shop at the same places before I donned the hijab- with an additional favourite place full of treasure - Geylang Serai Market. :p

My non-Muslim friends (waves to Peimin, Kaifen, Kristin, Aunty Chong, Cynthia, Sabina, Rujing and the rest!!! ) and I enjoyed one another's company and we never meet up at clubs. Maybe, they're just being considerate. But hey! That is what I love about them!!! That is why I love them!!

Those are true friends. Never mind if they're not of the same religion as me. Never mind if they eat pork or drink alcohol. At least they don't pressure me. Thank you darlings. :) Being in hijab hasn't changed my friendship status with these lovely people. Thank God. :)

And it's not that I have no true Malay/ Muslim friends, there's just too many to mention lah. Academy awards speech also sure lose one.

So my point is, some people hate my guts. Because that is how I am. My mom (mothers know best,right?) ever told me so too. She said I am exactly like my dad. "But remember, Abah is a man but you're a woman. It's not the same." 10 years ago, when mom said that to me, I said 'Baguslah. Let them know I am not one who takes crap.'
But after life's experiences, I am thankful mom gave me those timely reminders.

The person who would jump at any opportunity to make her stand will now be silent for a little while and listens more.

The person who usually slammed back at false remarks/judgments about her will now think. Thinks hard and cries for all her past doings. There is some or little truth in whatever someone says about you. It's just how you take it. And whether you wanna sit on it or act on it (your behaviour/attitude).

The person who would prove her point using vulgarities and lots of exclamation marks has now become a person who chants, 'Astarghfirullah' every time she's angry. And Alhamdulillah, it has made her heart turned from stone to almost ice within minutes. Such strong power from within when you know you have a lot of faith in Him.

So you see, it's not wrong for that particular person to hate me. I was someone to hate. But please don't be an enemy. Because it only means you want to do harm on me or my family.

And that's my greatest worry. :(

Love me, love my family.

Hate me.

Hate ONLY me.

Sincerely,

Kyn, Proud Mom of 4MusKynteers