I am my own opponent in my own game.

My Arwah Nenek used to say, "Tak payah kaya-raya. Happy-happy dengan anak-anak tu lagi important, you know?"

Soooooooo true isn't it? 

Ok, today's entry is not all emotional about Nenek. But Nenek's words will always be etched in my heart and mind. She was the very few people who supported my decision about leaving the service in 2008. She said if I had done it for the sake of my children, I would never regret it. Yup, never had I regretted it one bit. 

Yeah, the financial concerns strained us a bit. But hey, even those who are in a dual income family have many  financial constraints. Because we are living in Singapore. PERIOD. 

So yeah, when I first started my business in Elken, I didn't think I would make it. But the push from a dear sister and her surprise blog entry on me helped to spur my energy and drive towards sharing one of the best products I have ever taken in all my 32+ years of living. (I know. I still look 25 right? Lol. ) Plus, Arwah Nenek and Arwah Uncle left us due to the mother of all ilnesses, diabetes. This means my family is highly at risk. Which puts my children at risk. Hubby's blood pressure is also high thus joining a health industry is the start of this journey. (Never forget exercise though!!)

So now that I'm in MLM, I may have eaten up my own words, "I hate MLM." As stupid as you may think someone doing an MLM business is, this 'stupid' organisation that you think it is, has helped me earned more than SGD5k last month alone. And Elken recognises my achievements! THAT IS THE BEST THING LA! 

Had never felt this appreciated by the school when I was teaching. Really. Honestly. Sad truth. That's why my morale was low lah. Tsk. 

Ok, I show you proof now. :) 

Was up on stage last Tuesday. Hee. 

My upline Kak Norsi, Nury and I, yesterday at the weekly meeting. 

Hubby and I with our income for last month. :) Syukur Alhamdulillah. 

Kak Norsi presented the certificate for my attendance at the 3D2N Total Beauty Workshop in KL, last April. 

(Fun workshop I must say!! There's one coming up in June at JB. Email or call me for enquiries ok? )

Our group who received recognition last week. :D 

(Don't we all look happy?! How not to be?!! Hee! )

And of course, my upline, Trina. :) 

And all I did was shared how good El Marino Blanc has been for me, my mom and my husband. :) 

Our Kak Julia with her own testimony. 

And Nury's testimony. :) 

So, stupid or not, I believe in its products and its incentives. And I am trying hard to sustain that amount for this month now that I have no helper and................I have an exam tomorrow. :O

Gotta go back to my books and notes now (while the kids are making a heluva noise. :/ ). 

Wish me luck ok? I really need lots and lots of it! Hehe. 

P.S: I still leave my mobile on and check my email regularly  though. ;) So, do reach me at  sueetchic@gmail.com or call/text/whatsapp me at 96711836 if you wanna know more yar. 

 

School holidays are coming. What better reason is there to earn extra this month, right? :) 

By the end of the day, all of these sacrifices are for my 4 muskynteers. 

InsyaAllah. 

A year on...

It's been almost a year since my last post.
Almost a year since we lost Nenek.
And yes, the very reason I did not want to blog was because I knew I would read my previous entry over and over again and be reminded of the many happenings last year. One of it is of course, my dear grandmother's death.

As I had expected, I am typing this entry in an emotional state. Still can't believe that I had spent a Mothers' Day without calling Nenek up and saying 'I love you' to her. She was also like a mom to me. The one who willingly cared for my siblings and I. While my parents were busy sustaining for the family, Nenek busied herself with us and was very patient with our different demands as a pampered kid, a teenager and a young adult. (multiply that by 3)

"Dah Maghrib! Nurhamzah, Nurashikin, nak masuk neraka eh? Lekas sembahyang!" 
 Abg Noi and I kena, every single day since we reached puberty. And it was always Maghrib that she had such energy to scream like that. Fajr, Zuhr, Asr and Isyak, not like that at all. But really, once a day was enough la. Hehe. My sis was still very young and once she had reached puberty, I was always not at home (budak poly already mah) so I can't really recall if she had been screamed at like that. Lol.

"Nak makan apa?" 
Every single day even if she had cooked the dishes for that day. She knew us well. She knew our tummies better. Heee. ;)

"You don't think I don't know, you know."
Everytime a boy called to look for me, that would be her favourite line. She claimed every boy who called me was 'gatal', was my boyfriend, was trying to get in my pants. So yeap, Nenek helped me filter some of those boys. Lol. Thank you, Nenek!  (Yes, she could communicate in English ok! Good English some more, you know!) Even those who genuinely called to ask about school work also kena. Hahaha.

Once I had Marsya, her fav baby talk was "Mana dia...mana dia..." until Marsya got tired of laughing. And it did not stop at Marsya. Ryan, Elisya and Keisya are all very lucky to hear that. Until today, Marsya would say that to other babies!! :)

 Oh wow....I could go and on forever. I still live in those memories. In those times when we were all happy. We will always have you in our hearts ad prayers, Nenek. We will always miss you. Because you were not just our grandmother, you were our superwoman.

 In Loving Memory, 

Hajjah Rahmah Bte Anuar 

 25 October 1933 - 29 May 2012 

Al-Fateha

Happy Nenek hugging our Lilo during Aidilfitri 2005

:') 

Perfect Plan

-------------------------------------------
Updated (25 May 2012)

Nenek is critical in CCU in TTSH. She was supposed to be discharged today,was even talking to the nurses about how happy she was. But,in a split second,as witnessed by a nurse,she fell back on the hospital bed and is having stroke ever since.

It's not a minor stroke. :'(

Her organs are failing and she cannot talk and smile anymore. :'((

Even if her condition doesn't worsen,it's very unlikely that she'll recover fully and be like normal. She'll either be wheelchair bound or bed ridden. :'((

Prayers for you,my darling Nenek, Rahmah Bte Anwar. We want to see you well again,nenek.

And,thank you for believing in me. Thank you Allah,for giving nenek and I the opportunity,to tell how much love we have for each other,for allowing nenek to tell me that she believes I was not in the wrong,for telling me to keep ducking the rotten lemons because one day,they'll be too rotten,no one would even pick them,let alone throw them at me.

May Allah open the hearts of those who have failed to see the Perfect Plan He has executed for all of us.

Now, let me go cry my heart out. I can't handle this sudden news at all. I can't. :'((
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As cliché as it may sound.......my kids are my greatest strength. The considerable factors of having a good husband,strong family support,understanding in-laws, wonderful friends and undoubtedly,the blessing of my Creator, also built the dynamics and quantums of my being here today, standing tall (short) despite all odds.

There's a reason why God blessed Bobo and I with 4 kids. And I do not need to know what the reason may be. But I do need to know and realise what and who I was before I had 4 kids.

What went on in my life when I was young, let it remain as memories but the impact of what had happened,who made certain things happened,are the basic moulds of how I became me. (Size and shape included)

Was never anyone's favourite. Not one now too and might never be at all. But this is what keep me going. A blast from the past,reminded me of how I was deprived of being defended,deprived of seeking the right channel to prove myself right,to show that I'm a normal person. Time and again,I was misunderstood. Time and again,I'm labelled rude.

What's happening to me right now is the perfect plan.
God is indeed the best planner. He knows what I can handle. He knows I can be patient. More patient than how I ever was.

If I ever succeed in not succumbing to my broken state now,it's thanks to the 4muskynteers who never endingly call for 'mummy'. Thanks to the husband who buys my chocolate treats without me asking (and entertaining my emo whatsapps). Thanks to the brother,sister and cousins who send random 'I love u,I'm here for you' text messages. Thanks to the parents for teaching me to fight my own war,on my own. Thanks to the friends,whom I now prefer to call my sisters and their families,who always wipe my tears without even probing 'why'.
And of course,thanks to my Nenek,who showed me first hand,before I even reached puberty,that the most rotten lemons could be thrown at you are the lemons 'from the same plantation'.

Nenek,you and I had a bad start as soon as I was a tween. But you have been the greatest teacher for my patience and resilience and no wonder now, you keep telling my kids to 'be like mummy'.

Thank you Allah for executing this perfect plan. Had it not been,I wouldn't know which lemons to duck from.

I love you so much nenek,nothing can ever change that. Not even those rotten lemons.

Nenek is now in the hospital,in stable condition. Hoping to have her back at home soon so I can then execute my plan for this school holidays. It's 4muskynteers and Nenek time. ;)

Real kids

Real kids whine,cry,scream,mess up the playroom,mess up the living room,mess up the kitchen and wet the dry area of the bathroom. Until you intervene as a supernanny or hulk.

Real kids don't give a damn when you say 'no' nicely with a logical reason to that 'no'. Because minutes later, (if u're unlucky,seconds later) they'll ask the same question again and again until you scream 'NO!'. By then,your neck looks like hulk's and your eyes are in comparison to superman's when he wants to use his laser powers.

Real kids have no doubts about having fun. Why bother creating fun for them when all they need is space. Just space. Be sure you have your ear plugs on once you have given them THE space and you've gotta be near to 'supervise'. (Don't do injustice to yourself-pls read,call a friend,or better still,play your iPhone/iPad/Tab games. After all,when there's no space,real kids will conquer your gadgets.)

Real kids don't say I love you without much needed practice or much needed reminders. I am guilty of doing so. I remind my kids to say I love you every night before bed. Still,they forget sometimes. They say that to their favourite toys/books/cartoons/friends though. So,kudos to me in the success of connecting that feeling of affirmation to something they like,though it may not be me,for now I hope.

Real kids don't care about healthy living let alone healthy foods. Don't tell them to eat the veges so they'll be healthy. Why not tell them "Mummy didn't eat veges when I was your age too. But I made sure I ate them or else I won't get to play 'rounders' using badminton racquets at the void deck." or "It's ok. When you're older and you know you need greens to look and feel beautiful, you'll eat a whole tree if you can." Guess the kids will get the drift and start eating those greens? Thank God if they don't. Otherwise, please don't think that your kids are normal.
Real kids don't look forward to school for school. They only look forward to being with friends in school. So,life IS fair afterall.....kids wanna be away from their parents for a while in the day too!

Real kids don't care when the other sibling is ill. "Kakak can stay home and rest. We can go Explorer Kids!" But a real mom would feel,"Damn,not another round of the dreadful virus! And yeah,guilty for making 3 kids stay home on a school holiday while 1 is ill. But,what the heck!! All will stay home!"

Real kids,real mom.

Who needs cable?

I get REAL DRAMA. EVERYDAY.

Enjoy this one day school holiday,kids!

Sharing is caring- Death

Came across this article in FB from Kak Sri. Thk u sis.

Loss of a loved one is not something all of us would love to think of,let alone having to lose our children.

The article is about a mom who lost her two sons. Be warned though,you'll be teary-eyed but at the same time,you'll be brought to a whole new level about Islam and death.

From Him we come, to Him we return.

http://mentalhealth4muslims.com/2011/03/12/a-mothers-reflection-of-grief-and-loss-in-islam/

Of conversations- May 3 2012

While driving her to school this morning,

M: Mummy, can we please go to Ayuni's house today? I ask only ah. Ask only.

Me: Why do you have to say that? The 'ask only' part?

M: Because you will always make so much noise wat.

-_____-

Not even seven and she has defined my very frequent, detailed explanation as 'noise'.

Untitled

Yup,I titled this entry Untitled cos that's what it is. I'm just being a typical
Mom who keeps too many of her kids' photos and the iPhone has reached its storage limit. Only after saving the pics in the notebook and posting them here and fb (and some in Istagram and Twitter ;p ) I'll place them in the 'bin'.

What can I say? Enjoy the unprofessional and unedited pics! ;)

Mambo No 5

It's baby boom this year! So many people I know have just given birth and getting pregnant. Therefore I will go straight to the point because yes,this is affecting my much needed rest.

Bobo (the husband,just in case you don't know) wants a number five.

Yeap. He does. The reversible ligation I went through almost two years ago right after I had Keisya has proved to be the best birth control for me.

The Pill didn't work,that's why I conceived Keisya when Eli was only 7 mths old. The rubber,oh well....Bobo's not too keen (read: lazy to use) about it. That's why Ryan came right after Marsya turned 1.

Almost 2 years of not conceiving is something I'm proud of actually,considering the fact that my 4 kids were really born close to one another. Plus the fact that I've finally started pursuing my studies,I am so thankful for such a birth control. (Oh have I mentioned I got a certificate for it? Lol)

But..darn..I'm really astounded by my own thoughts. Furthermore, where am I gonna get the energy from?!

And for the record,I'm NOT pregnant ahhhh. But I'm happy for many of my friends and tweet pals who are!!! ;)

So will it remain as the 4muskynteers or will there be a hi-5?

Only God knows.

March Holiday Workshops for K1-P2. :)

What I Wanna Be........

Monday,12 March 2012

11am-12.30pm or 1.30pm-3pm

$18 per child (materials included)

Don't all kids love role playing? And what better way than to have them acting out their ambitions and discussing what they love (or hate :p) after that?
Kids will use props or create their own props with materials given. Once role-playing is over, kids will be encouraged to write a short poem on their ambition. :)

'Project Kitchen!'

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

11am-1pm

$25 per child

In this workshop, kids will not only bake their own decorated cookies, concoct their own drinks and even make pizza/pasta. They will write down their own recipes and design their own menu! :D

Progressive Story Telling!

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

11am-12.30pm, 1.30pm- 3pm

$18 per child (materials included)

With the props available, kids are to use them to create one story together,orally, making sure the story is progressive. This trains their listening and oral skills which is essential in school and increases their focus on any tasks. The emphasis on teamwork and adapting to others will also be two important lifeskills for them to take home. :)
---------------------------- ------------------------------ ------------------------------- -----------------
Venue for all classes will be at a residential address at Serangoon North. (Address will only be given upon confirmation of registration. If there is a change of venue, you will be informed 3 days prior to the class.)

All classes have limited slots to maintain safety and well-being.
Do call 96711836 from 2pm-5pm from Tuesday, 6 March 2012 to Sunday, 11 March 2012 to register your child.
Alternatively, you can email nurashikinrahmat@gmail.com. :)

Registration wil only be confirmed after securing the payment transfer to POSB Savings 045-12889-0.


Kids having fun as they learn, WIN-WIN.

:)

 Hope to see you soon!!

Love me or Hate me

Last night was one of the best nights. I searched deep within. I tracked back from 20 years ago.... I was not a good girl to begin with. I've done many things I am ashamed of to even mention them. But I know I was a nice girl. I was too outspoken for my own good, too honest for some people, too blinded by others' good to see how much I had been taken advantaged of, all because I didn't wanna hurt anyone's feelings.

Then, came the workforce. Teaching taught me to be more resilient. I adapted to a culture I hated but still emerged strength from it because of the people who surrounded me at that time. I was not so blind anymore. My eyes were opened, mind jolted but heart......scarred. (teaching is even worse now...my fellow teachers mates...SALUTE!!!!)

Marriage and having my firstborn brought new perspectives to my life. I realised whom I had hurt, whom had hurt me. Because I was emotional and wanted to prevent repercussions, I started to oblige to almost everything. And it went on and on until...I have four kids.

After four kids, I didn't like the way I was. Til today, I am trying to be a better Muslimah. I put on the hijab after I gave birth to my fourth, 20 mths ago. I found a different yet meaningful life. I understood life's purpose and I am still on that road to being calm and peace all the time.

While on this road, hubby and I had received many compliments and criticism.

And on this road too, I saw true friends. Those who are wiling to stick all the way and those who dumped me cos I can't club with them anymore. Some also stopped asking me to shop with them cos now I have a different style. Little do they know, I still shop at the same places before I donned the hijab- with an additional favourite place full of treasure - Geylang Serai Market. :p

My non-Muslim friends (waves to Peimin, Kaifen, Kristin, Aunty Chong, Cynthia, Sabina, Rujing and the rest!!! ) and I enjoyed one another's company and we never meet up at clubs. Maybe, they're just being considerate. But hey! That is what I love about them!!! That is why I love them!!

Those are true friends. Never mind if they're not of the same religion as me. Never mind if they eat pork or drink alcohol. At least they don't pressure me. Thank you darlings. :) Being in hijab hasn't changed my friendship status with these lovely people. Thank God. :)

And it's not that I have no true Malay/ Muslim friends, there's just too many to mention lah. Academy awards speech also sure lose one.

So my point is, some people hate my guts. Because that is how I am. My mom (mothers know best,right?) ever told me so too. She said I am exactly like my dad. "But remember, Abah is a man but you're a woman. It's not the same." 10 years ago, when mom said that to me, I said 'Baguslah. Let them know I am not one who takes crap.'
But after life's experiences, I am thankful mom gave me those timely reminders.

The person who would jump at any opportunity to make her stand will now be silent for a little while and listens more.

The person who usually slammed back at false remarks/judgments about her will now think. Thinks hard and cries for all her past doings. There is some or little truth in whatever someone says about you. It's just how you take it. And whether you wanna sit on it or act on it (your behaviour/attitude).

The person who would prove her point using vulgarities and lots of exclamation marks has now become a person who chants, 'Astarghfirullah' every time she's angry. And Alhamdulillah, it has made her heart turned from stone to almost ice within minutes. Such strong power from within when you know you have a lot of faith in Him.

So you see, it's not wrong for that particular person to hate me. I was someone to hate. But please don't be an enemy. Because it only means you want to do harm on me or my family.

And that's my greatest worry. :(

Love me, love my family.

Hate me.

Hate ONLY me.

Sincerely,

Kyn, Proud Mom of 4MusKynteers

"I saw the Sign"

There is no better way than to spend the holidays relaxing and spending your family time on a beach or on a trip to your most dream about destination, isn't it?

But I have the best way.

Less spending $$$ and more quality time with the children. Afterall, school holidays are about them.
What am I saying?!
EVERYDAY is about them.

So what is the best way, you say?

Disclaimer: This entry is purely blogged for the sanity of a mom who has not had a single me time since the holidays started. Any living thing or incidents mentioned in this entry is purely coincidental. The purpose of this entry is also  to suck ALL of the negativity and disappointment that we can't travel this holidays for the many things to pay for this month. While many families are at beautiful places out of the country, I still have to keep a smile for the very hardworking husband who is the sole breadwinner and pretend that we're ok with no vacation for more than a year. Sesungguhnya Syurga ditapak kaki suami kan? ;p

So, since it's the holidays, it's also the time when kids are more relaxed and are willing to participate in whatever activities you suggest and easy for us, parents, to follow up on them.

I am making it a point to get the kids to:

1. Help set the table for every meal.
    The eldest, Marsya, turned 6 recently and going on to Primary 1 in 2012. What better time to train her to
    be independent right? Since the eldest enjoys doing it, Ryan and Eli were curious and started helping out
    too. Keisya, often takes out ALL the bowls and sets them on the floor. Credits for trying hard and thank
    God for the reliable helper, Desi. :)
    Classic case of 'Monkey See, Monkey Do'. ;p

2. Help clean the table after every meal.
    They're more interested in doing this and very often bring in the dishes even when some of us are still
    eating. And with mouths full, sometimes, some of us will scream, "Eh!! I still want the chicken laa!!!"
    This one, I say, classic case of 'Never check blindspot'.
   
3. Make their own bed. (Sometimes make mine. Heheh)
    Still a feat actually. But thank goodness they're more automatic the past few days.
    And I sometimes forget to remind them to. Heh. My bad.  *********REMINDER***********
    But they make mine only when they have spent time playing 'nap' on my bed for a full hour but none of
    them actually takes a real nap. It happened today too. (dunno what sign to show. a senget smile and
    shakes head.)
    Classic case of 'Don't Play Play but play'.

4. Throw/put away toys they don't often play with.
    This has got to be the most difficult.
    EVERY toy seems to be useful.
    EVERY broken toy seems to still
    be 'playable'.
    And EVERY *toot* toy seems to be their favourite. And then there'll be cries and wails
    and 'batu ronsen'.
 
    "NO! That's my favourite toy!"
    "Mummy! She bluff! She never play with that doll one! She always play with the bogel doll!!"
   
     "No!! I still play with that!"
     "But it's broken!"
     "Yar, don't play with the legs lah. I play fight-fight with the hands only."
   
     Classic case of 'Karanguni'.
 
5. Take turns to be 'supervisor' everytime there's cleaning up to be done. 
    Every child loves being a leader.  Sense of pride overwhelms them when they're made 'supervisor of
    the day'.
    "Mummy, just now right, Kakak never cebok properly."
    "Huh?! How do you know?"
     "Because I never hear the water."
     Kakak interrupted- "I close the door what! How can you hear?! Mummy, I cebok already! Really!!
     Ryan yang always tak cebok!"
    "I gooooottt."
     "NO! He cebok like this only. (makes action of spraying water on imaginary penis)."
     "Kakak! You saw?!"
     "Yar. Because he never close the door."
     "Oh hor!!!!!! Kakak see me kencing!! Ayo!!"

     And...... you can guess who ended up crying la ah.
     Classic case of 'The Pot calling The Kettle Black' and 'Shoot in front but kena backside'.
  

6. Write menu for the day.
     Kids will write what they would like to eat for the day and I will try my best to cook it on the same day.
     Still on-going and I would say, this is the highest achieved so far.
     Phew. Even the youngest two are enjoying their doodling and imaginary food. :)
     But no, I still have not accede to their request of McDonalds and Maggi Mee almost every day! 0_0
     Classic case of 'Test water onlyyyy'.

      :p :p :p

With all of that, I hope, the next two weeks before the new school term begins, the kids have learnt basic
household duties. This is also an effort taken so that, if Desi decides not to continue next December, I will not have to pull my hair so much. Or worse, cry everytime a child wakes up from her/his nap.Yes, it happens. If you have never felt that way then you're not normal. :p

Ok, serious time.

Earlier, I was actually feeling terrible that I'm not able to provide luxuries for my kids. Not even a short plane ride. I have to think of more important matters and their school fees for next year. I do cry at times, which I think is normal because I am a normal mom. As much as I am thankful for having a roof over our head, enough food on the table, laughter in the house, occasional shopping and trips to restaurants, I do still wish money would fall from the sky so that I can lavish my children with all they want.

And I'm thankful I chanced upon this quote earlier today, which inspired me to blog after so long.

"A child, like your stomach, doesn't need all you can afford to give it."~ Frank A. Clark

With all praises to God, Allah SWT, thank you for that sign.

Thank you for bringing them to me.
:)

Classic case of 'I saw the sign'. Ace of Base? Hehehe.

Cry

Have you ever felt that you have done everything you could to make everyone happy but when you go to sleep at night,you feel like crying?

It's obvious that I have.

I cry for many reasons.

1. Tired. Too tired to even think that I am and so,the tears would
flow and I would fall asleep. I would wake feeling so much better though. 'Hibernate',I would say.

2. Hurt. Well,almost all the time,we cry because we are hurt. No matter how deeply hurt we are,crying seems to be the best way to 'help' ourselves. And no doubt,I am only human so I do get hurt sometimes. And although I might have been hurt way earlier in the day, crying it to sleep sort of helps me 'delete' and 'refresh'.

3. Anxious,worry,fear.
These three always come together. Whatever problems I might be facing,I can only think straight and get a deep realisation about it before I
go to sleep at night. Being too occupied in the day keeps me frm getting paranoid in the day,which is good too,so at least I'm more rational when dealing with the kids. And so,I would cry when these problems hit me hard,exactly when I have decided to 'shut down'. Must be the 'anti-virus' doing it's work.

4. Sad but happy. Happy but sad.
Don't understand? Try having kids and you will understand what I mean. Most nights when I can't sleep,I would look through my videos and photos in my phone. Looking at the four angels of my life make me wanna 'print screen' everything about them. From the first child's birth to the last child's latest development. I
would be smiling but my heart is actually tearing into pieces. My precious four are growing way too fast,I am sad but happy. :')

And that is the reason why I'm crying right now.














~sueetchic~

Exclusive breastfeeding during Ramadhan

Hi all,I would like to share my experience of breastfeeding Keisya last Ramadhan to all breastfeeding mommas out there.

Keisya was less than two months old last Ramadhan and her feeding was still every 2-3h. As I was breastfeeding exclusively,I took note of a few points I did while fasting (the whole month) to ensure that my milk supply did not drop. Alhamdulillah ,it didn't. ;)) And Alhamdulillah too,I did not miss a single day last Ramadhan. :D

I started taking Fenugreek (in capsule form-bought at GNC) after I had my half a bowl of rice for my pre dawn meal. Water was essential. I drank abt 250ml before I retired for the night and at least another 500ml during Sahur.

On days when I felt less hydrated,I would put a cold towel on my head. And the first thing I had for buka (break fast) was at least 2 dates and a cup of water or milk. (Usually the latter)

(I was never a fan of dates. Never liked dates. Mom and Hubby were surprised I took dates that Ramadhan. Well,I
was surprised too! I had read somewhere that consuming dates help to retain ur water in your body longer and the natural sugar in it gives one lots of energy. Pardon me if it's a wrong info but that's what I read and there really was no harm trying to me. ;p)

Sometimes I would still have rice for buka but on days when I wasn't, I made sure I drank a not so sweet Milo with at least 2 slices of bread before I went to bed.

There was one day when I only had bread and Milo for my pre dawn meal. Upon the third feeding that day,which was only around noon, I was already lethargic. I had to sleep off the lethargy,had a cold shower after that and prayed to last till buka. Alhamdulillah,I did. It was a miracle but I did. Keisya was still well fed and I was still alive. Hehe

So there,no one said a fully breastfeeding mommy can't fast. As long as it doesn't endanger u,u can do the obligatory fast. Insyaallah. He wills us to feed our baby with our own milk,He will will it for us to have the strength and energy to get through the day.

Ramadhan Mubarak everyone. ;))



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A lot like love

A very sounding (pun intended) reward for going through difficult times and Gestational Diabetes.







A healthy baby,Keisya Batrisyia arrived on 18 June 2010 weighing 3.57kg.

And life has never been the same eversince.
Breastfed her till eleven months (my target was 6 mths! :D),had her first tooth at 8mths (the earliest compared to her siblings) and truly the baby at home.

She has brought so much love,she is a lot like love herself.





























For all that had happened, I am now more thankful,understood clearly and certainly,happy that you have entered our lives. You were the perfect gift for my 30th b'day last year. And for many years to come insyaallah,you and I are gonna share lots more happy memories.

You are my love,baby. A whole new meaning to love.

Happy 1st Birthday,my little princess!! You are my everything!!!
Mmmmmmmmuahhh!!!!

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Sometimes the reasons come later

In September 2009,I was on a low protein diet,started exercising four times a week and was on Yasmin.

Barely a month later,I found out I was already 10 weeks pregnant with Keisya.

Overjoyed was not how I felt. And now I regret that. After having three kids,to have another one so soon really didn't leave me much to be excited and really happy. I have to admit,I was sad,stressed,disappointed and angry at myself,my body.

What could have gone wrong? I had taken all the necessary precautions for family planning. Why was I then,pregnant again,so soon?! I uttered Alhamdulillah so many times but I still couldn't understand. Why?

At that time,everything seemed to go wrong. The helper decided to quit and because of that I had to stop some tutoring jobs which resulted in less income for the family. It was hard. Add morning sickness,clingy Marsya and very active Ryan,it was really hard. We were without a helper for more than a mth and I had to handle all of that on my own while Bobo was at work. Thank goodness Elisya was a no fuss baby.

So again,I wondered,why? Why now,again???

Until Bobo,the man with very few words, spoke,one day.
It was right after Subuh prayers. He hugged me tight and he said he had made doas for baby and I. For himself too. He is prepared to take on the responsibility and challenges and he prayed that my heart would open for the baby,soon. "Sometimes,the reasons come later in life. Just think how much more laughter we'll get in the house. U'll love the baby like how u love Marsya,Ryan and Elisya."

I will?
Will I?

My heart sank la. :(

What Bobo had said only meant that I was not taking care of myself and the baby well. How could I be so selfish?! I had to remind myself constantly to enjoy the pregnancy. And truth be told,I only did when I felt the first kick.

Since then,I uttered Alhamdulillah with my whole heart. I truly thank Him. Truly grateful.

By December 2009,I was still pregnant with my fourth. Not ecstatic about it but I was humbled by the fact that He wanted to give me another chance to carry life.





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My kids are the best...

Messmakers!
That's what they are.
They know mummy allows mess (although I cringe at it all the time!) because that's how a child learns the most effectively.







Oh well,guess I have to suck it up. (Breathe in deeeeeeeeply)

Marsya and Ryan haven't been to school this week and what other way to keep their boredom (and kill my guilt :p) away!

As I'm typing this, Elisya has joined in the activity and Keisya is taking her nap, they're still painting. (Not the walls I hope!)








Marsya painted a big butterfly.
Elisya asked to draw a flower for her to paint and Ryan asked for an aeroplane and a flower. 0_o








He then asked for a BIG flower with a butterfly and a bee!







In case you didn't know,Ryan is our only boy. He is in K1 and he likes flowers and plays with balls,toy cars,figurines and errrrmmm...his sisters' dolls.

Should I be worried?

Anyway,please remind me to buy those poster colours in tubes.
Because...



Uhuh...the poster colours that we have been using will not be what they are anymore.

Oh well,before my maid faints and my dad starts screaming,I better stop more mess.

(Breathes in deeeeeply.)
*chants:patiencepatiencepatience....

Goodbyes are never easy......

"Death may indeed be final but the love we share while living is eternal."~ Don Williams,Jr

It has been 12 days since he is gone.

My only paternal Uncle. A man of character, of an independence we ought to model and definitely the only man I know who can joke about losing his two legs.

Uncle Achet is Abah's only brother. Now, he has joined to be with the rest of his seven siblings who had died in either Nenek's womb or did not survive long after birth.

My family has a strong history of diabetes. Nenek has it. Abah has it. His two sisters have it and Arwah Uncle Achet had it. In fact, Uncle Achet had lost both of his legs due to diabetes, one in 2003 and the other in 2010.

But even with both legs amputated, Uncle still lived like normal. He would get on his own-made motochair (a wheelchair with motor! Equipped with radio and license plate!) and rode his way to 888, his favourite hangout. He would set up his own Karaoke and entertained himself. If it had not been for no lift landing to my place, I'm sure Uncle would have come over many, many times. :'(

His laughter was contagious and his jokes would make one fall off the chair easily. That's my Uncle. :) We love our family gatherings because Uncle would be the one to start sharing oh so many stories and 'action'-ed his way about with his motorchair and his daily 'walkabouts'. :)




Nenek's 77th birthday last year. Arwah Uncle with the rest of his siblings and in-laws.


When his own body finally succumbed to diabetes on 14 April 2011 and I was there to witness it, I couldn't help feeling regretful for not holding a family gathering earlier. But I was glad I was there. I saw his strong will to fight his own body. I saw the immense love he has towards Nenek, Aunty Habsah (his wife), his daughters Shida and Nora,his grandchildren and of course his siblings, Abah, Mama (my aunty) and Aunty Jas eventhough the only way he could respond to us was by holding our hands tight and patting us with his left hand.

It was my first time witnessing death.

And it was the death of a loved one.

We love you Uncle. We miss you Uncle. Our family gatherings will never be the same again. There will be tears but we will keep smiling, keep laughing and keep living. Exactly the way you taught us to. The way you showed us to.

Al-Fateha to Haji Abdul Rashid Bin Haji Mohamed Isa.

May Allah love his soul than all of our love for him combined. Amin.  

Elisya's 2nd

It was a last minute decision and something simple with the family.

The angel who was born 4.09kg on 30 March 2009 has turned two. Smarter, prettier and chubbier ;p,now at two years old, Elisya has always been the one everyone loves.

I pray she will be in the prayers of many to continue being a fuss-free child, independent and everyone's pride of joy, especially to Bobo and I. :) Insyaallah,Amin.