Battle Field

In about three hours time, I will  be under the knife again.

Guilt comes over me as I type this entry. I have not been the best pregnant mother for I have not been updating regularly about baby's development. I have not been the best mother as I had been too weak to follow the schedules I had planned out for the three children this holidays. What with the maid creating more problems that left me helper-less for three weeks. Plans with the children had to be shelved because of that as I had chores to do at home.

No matter how much I pen this down, let it out, scream and shout, I still feel guilty.

This was not the way I wanted to spend my last few weeks with my children who deserve more than my atention before baby comes along.

Still, I am looking forward to later. To see my unborn child. The one whose kicks have left me feeling breathless at times. :) The one whom hubby still thinks is a boy despite the doctor telling us so that it's another girl.

Whatever gender you may be, baby, you're still ours and will be loved all the same. :)

And yes, I'll be going through another c-section. 

Fourth child. Third c-section. Last pregnancy.

LAST pregnancy. Yes, ligation forms have been filled and I've made up my mind. 

But to walk into the Operating Theatre later, I'm still NOT prepared. The battle has already begun last night when all sorts of notions came over me about the operation. Scheduled operation always make me feel like I'm meeting death.

On a good note, if I die giving birth, I will go to Heaven right? Hehe.

Ok, I bet every woman who goes through childbirth ever has such thoughts. It doesn't make me forget where I'm from.

Insya'Allah we'll be fine.

Both of us will be.

Pray for us, ok?

HELLO June Holidays!!!

When I was still teaching, I looked forward to the June holidays. I looked forward to being a homemaker for at least two weeks, waking up to my babies (yes, they were still babies then), cook for them, bathe with them, shop with them, spend the entire day with them.

Now that I'm a SAHM, I still look forward to those. In a different way.

Being pre-schoolers, it is only right that now, I direct all my energy on them during THEIR June holidays. Not to forget my lil chubbs, Elisya, who is full of energy and determined to do what Marsya and Ryan do too.

At 35 weeks pregnant, my whole body is now aching from EVERYTHING. 

Sit too long, ache.

Stand too long, ache.

Walk too long, ache.

Never walk, ache.

Lie on my back, ache.

Lie on my sides, ache.

Aiyooooh!!! I seriously can't recall aching so badly when I had the first three and the third only being slightly a year ago! I must be aging too fast. And yes, I'm turning 30 in a week's time.

30. (Wow. Old liao.)

Ok, back to where I was. So this holidays, despite all the aches, I have to make sure my pre-schoolers learn something. Everyday is playtime for them, yeah, MY way. Hee. I sound like a stepmother, don't I?

Well, they say, once a teacher, always a teacher. I guess it's true. I've done up lesson plans and timetables for my kids but thought that it would be too rigid. So, the lesson plan and timetable is for my eyes only so that if I were to stray away from it, I can only blame myself.

So the date for the c-section has been set on the 18th of June. I can't wait for 3rd Princess to be out but at the same time, I am not so eager about the operation. Fourth time giving birth, third time c-section and I'm still freaking out.

Let's just pray I'll have enough mojo to spend time with the three children before I 'pop' or should I say, get cut up? :p

It's Parents and Teachers Conference tomorrow and the Mr has very kindly taken half a day of leave to accompany meet the teachers. I'm not really concerned about the kids' academics right now but more of their behaviour in class, study patterns etc.

Oh well, we'll just have to wait for tomorrow.

Till the sun shines again. :)

A Whole New Affair

Yes, yes, it's been over 2 years or so that I last blogged. Actually, no. Hehe. I was blogging privately immediately after I resigned.

Then came the gatal-ness and here I am, back to wordpress. :p

Life has been pretty fly, I must say. :)

With a new baby, my 3rd child, who has turned ONE since 30 March. That is none other than my precious, Elisya Batrisyia. :)

With a new home, situated in Serangoon North since March 2010. :)

With my parents and younger sister who are now staying with us. :)

And of course, with another baby on the way. :) Alhamdulillah.

I'll have four children come June, Insya'Allah and I have never been more blessed.

But now, it's time for me to take my very short nap. It's only when Elisya is taking hers and the other 2 are in school that I can have my nap. Even if it's just 15 minutes. Hell yeah, I deserve it! Hehe.

For now, welcome me back, with wide open arms, can? :p

~With love~

i've always loved, using videos and songs to teach English. eversince the sharing session we had sometime in February, the many resources shared had given me lots of opportunity to expose the pupils to them.

i'd gone to www.grammarmancomic.com and had used most of the free stuff from the link and adjust them to accomodate to my pupils' ability. (gosh...i still sound so teacher-ly...reminds me of my EPMS)

anyway, the kids had learnt many songs and today, during our daily 'Show & Tell', one kid, a bo-chap Japanese who has killer IQ (always scoring full marks for Math and solving challenging sums within 5 minutes!), actually decided to sing one of the songs I had taught them!

it was too bad i could not record the whole session. the rest of the class enjoyed his singing although it was a bit off key at the beginning. but hey, no one's born a star. (hmmm..actually yes, the latest twins ) as he started singing, the class was gleefully watching him and they sang along when he reached the chorus. they sang "top of the world" by The Carpenters.

well, the kids did it again. it's as if they know that i'm leaving and they had been tugging my heartstrings since the term started. i had been less angry with them and obviously, there had been less scolding.

i was so full of emotion when the whole class started singing, without music. and they sang so well, damn well.

they noticed my tears.

i just felt like hugging all 35 of them.

and they still do not know i'm leaving...real soon...

i hope to leave...with as much love as possible..

kids, never question why they exist..

~tulang, fisherman's wharf, k-nite, zouk, another round of sisha and baby lion's invitation~

yeap. those are the lined up 'bonding' sessions the colleagues have planned out (minus the baby lion's invitation heh). seriously leh darlings, i'm only resigning....not migrating. though i wish i could. but no, not yet, i hope.

anyway, darling a-min, this time, must must must join ok. sue n i are leaving on the same day!!

and, really darling, 'it' was at our very first cubicle. *spooky*

i'm not into telling ghost encounters here. just typing that previous sentence sends me the chills...sheesh...wait up for a next meet up and i'll tell more.

and, oh janna, i'll surely come for you on 5th july!*roars* heeee

~till death do us part?~

i am busy finalising my ca2 paper while listening to 94.2FM. yeah, i prefer Warna to Ria. call me makcik-makcik/ auntie for all i care. heh. but eh..don't lah ok. cos i'm not one. hee. faaaaaaar from one k!

i forced bobo to stay up with me while he enjoys blistering his fingers playing PSP. he's right there now, talking to me, eyes (and fingers) glued on his white screen while i am busy typing this away. his voice right now, is like bees humming to me. hee....

ok, right now, is news on Warna. before this was Alleycat's song (i do not know the title) and Sudirman's Salam Terakhir. Touching songs man. damn touching.

the topic on air prior to the songs was about deceased spouse; how one would and should handle it. one of the callers, a man, reminisced his moments with his late wife.

he got me started. i teared. not so badly cos i was trying to finish up my exam paper, remember? but anyhoot, i teared. and bobo had to tease me. of course, being a typical woman/ wife i went "if i die before u, u'll surely be happy rite? surely got new wife asap one. rite b? rite? b? b!"

obviously, i was not entertained.

anyway, i can never imagine the terrible loss if it's written for bobo to leave this world before i do. seriously, i can never imagine. never.

and my dearest sister came to my mind. you know who you are my darling kakak.

for every compliment i had received for being strong, i'd think that sister of mine deserves MORE.

for God has given her the greatest test a wife should ever receive.

the greatest fear every wife possesses.

my kakak sayang, you went through it ALL.

~the countdown begins I~

my favourite boy hero since he was in primary three, will be graduating this year and being a foreign student (from Vietnam) he is 3 years older than his peers. Michael, has brought pride to his name for he has grown to be a very sensible boy. Even when other teachers claim he had been very rude, naughty and misbehaved many times since last year, I am glad to say, he still gives me that utmost respect. He still texts me at odd times. Calls me from end of the corridor just to raise his hand as a gesture of acknowledging me and greeting me with his cheeky smile and a short nod like bow.

Today, during recess, as I was doing my field duty, Michael saw me from one end of the field and walked as cool as he could...haha! teenagers!

"Cher...y cher?"

"y wat darling?" (yes, i call ALL pupils and some close colleagues 'darling'. that has been Ms Shikin's trademark :p)

"y u also wanna quit? cannot tahan ah cher?"

"no lah. it's not that. i wanna prove the world i can do more besides teach! haha!"

"hahaha! cher...actually hor, u should leh. u still so young and pretty must do other things mah. like miss liang rite?"

"really ahh? u find me pretty?"

"aiyahh..ok mah (boy blushes)"

"actually you're right darling. i'm still young. i must do other things."

"lucky u married leh. if not u teach until no one wants u. haha! eh cher, later next year, i come back, all faces i dunno liao.."

"i'm sure ur favourite teachers will still be here."

"but see, within 2 years, so many good teachers left liao. now you..aiyahh. cher dun forget me ok."

"i won't! and u must not forget me either ok."

"of course won't lah."

(at that point, tears were already welling and both teacher and student still maintaining their cool..hehe)

"btw, how did u know about my plans?"

"mr ho lor. he said i must try to make u stay cos he believes u're a good teacher and it's a waste. but hor, i think u are doing the right thing. so i came to wish you good luck."

(seriously, if Michael is not a 15 year old and hormones-raging, i would have brought him close to my chest and give him that tight tight hug.)

"i'll need ur wish again cos i'll still be here for a few more weeks."

"can. for sure one."

"and don't tell the others first ok."

"war lau cher if the others hear then they sure will spread one u know."

"haha! i'm counting on you ok."

"no problem cher."

(by then 2 of my p4 boys overheard our conversation and came running to me.)

"ms shikin, u're quitting?"

"no. says who?"

"but just now u said..."(bell rang....)

"let's go boys."

(ms shikin left the field with a big smile, teary eyes and an open heart.)





above, my P3s in 2005...all graduating this year.

:)